CollectiveInquiry

Raw

June 21, 2012 by Kristyn

The moments that I treasure the most are the raw moments. The moments in which I am vulnerable and at a loss for words.

I recently let someone in, in a way that I did not think I was able to do. I shared the hardest thing that has ever happened to me. And this person respected it. He shared the moment with me. He shared my pain and was not afraid to be there with me. It was a sharing of my grief…a moment in which the reality of my loss truly hit me and brought me to my knees.

The experience was characterized by connection and exhaustion. I had to trust him enough to take him somewhere that I usually go alone. I do not go there alone because I am unwilling to share…it is more because of the vulnerability that I experience when I am at that place. I am very adept at putting up the facade that I sometimes construct that says something along the lines of “I am okay/fine/strong.”

This experience got me thinking. I have sat in many therapy sessions over the past few years. I sit across from people who sometimes allow me to go to their place with them (something painful/embarrassing/happy-sad/anger inducing, etc.).

What an honor to be permitted to go there with someone who has placed enough confidence in you to the point that they realize that you will not betray the moment. That you will respect it for what it is.

What is it like for me, as a therapist, to go to one of those places? It is powerful. I sit and I listen or watch as someone once more experiences something that forever changed their lives.

I view myself as more of a companion in those instances. I do not speak very much. I simply let the person be. I think that sometimes the physical presence of another is enough.

What are your experiences of being with someone in their place?