Have you ever been called out on something? You know what I am talking about, right? That moment when someone looks at you and says, “really?”
I am fairly confident that at least one person is nodding their head right now. I have been called out. In fact, I have been called out so many times that I couldn’t even begin to count them. Usually it comes from a trusted friend or family member. These people know who we are and have an uncanny ability to pick up on something that is different in our lives.
It can be a jarring experience to have someone call you out. We may not realize that we have been saying, doing, or feeling something different. Or…we may realize it and have made several justifications for our words, behaviors, or feelings.
Let me give you a personal example. Recently, I have let stress consume me. I am picturing stress as Jabba the Hut. An alarmingly large entity capable of slowly suffocating me with its mere presence. The stress that I was experiencing was to the point of consuming the majority of my thoughts. A perpetual to-do list was playing on repeat in my head.
Let me also tell you what I look like when I am that stressed. I look like a sad puppy. I don’t laugh very much, I am sleep-deprived, and then I get mad at myself for not being myself. Can anyone identify with me?!
I was called out by people. Not just one person but more than one. It was difficult to hear. I was already mad at myself for allowing stress to consume me. Getting called out made me realize that stress was also taking away from my relationships and slowly morphing me into a not so fun version of myself. Sigh…
This week, I am grateful that I was called out. My mantra is: “I am going to do my best and accept that I really have done my best. If I don’t get everything done, that is okay. I am human. I want to live a life filled with laughter and joy…not a feeling of inadequacy.”
I know that I am not alone in this. Sometimes, as a therapist, I call my clients out. I put the statement out there, hear them sigh, and then we talk about what has been going on to make them say, do, or feel as they have been. It’s not always a comfortable experience but the feedback that I receive from such conversations usually involves a statement of gratitude.
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No Thoughts About Accountability