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You know that feeling of finally getting over something?  You finally made it over the mountain of total discomfort and hurt and your emotions are starting to settle in a meadow of fresh air, peace, and contentment.  Then one day while walking around as usual you somehow find yourself back on that same mountain top and, oh wait, it is thunder-storming.  But not to worry, you came prepared.  You quickly cover yourself with your rain jacket, zipping up the armor to your emotions.  You even tie a tarp between two trees and sit tight under the protection waiting for the storm to pass.

Just when you think all is well, a huge hole breaks in your tarp, dumping a shower of rain atop your head and exposing you directly to the thunder and rain.  Your rain jacket protects you for a little while, but the rain is too heavy and the wind is too strong and all the wetness seeps through your jacket.  You are now soaking wet and so surprised that your methods of protection failed to keep you out of the storm.

Sometimes this happens in life.  Sometimes we find ourselves in an old situation that was once so difficult for us to face.  And this is frustrating.  We worked so hard to get ourselves past the hurt, past the struggles, and away from the frustration.  We truly thought we had moved on.  Well, maybe in some ways we have.  But sometimes when we enter back into a situation or face a certain person again, all of our emotions come flooding back and soak into our body as if we never really dried the emotions out in the first place.  This can feel so frustrating and defeating.  It is at this point when I usually start to beat myself up with thoughts like, “Why can’t you just move on already?  Why are you letting this get to you?  Why don’t you just focus on something else?  Why does it really matter?  Just stop thinking about it!”  It is as if, without realizing it, I defeat myself in the situation.

If a client or a friend was explaining this to me, I would stop them for a moment and start empathizing for their reaction and emotions.  I often forget to do this for myself.  I forget that these reactions and emotions are completely normal.  There will be times in life where we find ourselves back in a situation that makes us feel utterly uncomfortable and we may react with the same emotions and behaviors that we tried so hard to move past.

You know what?  This is ok.  This is normal.  Just because we sometimes revert back to certain emotions or behaviors does not always mean all hope is lost and that we find ourselves back at square one.  It makes sense that when faced with the same situation that the same emotions and reactions would come back.  So in these moments maybe it is ok to stop pushing back at our emotions and instead accept them for what they are…normal.  Maybe instead of running away from that familiar pain, we run to a friend and feel through the discomfort and frustration.  It will be ok.  The heaviness of this storm will pass once again.  Let the hope carry you through.  Feel through the storm, but also do not forget to look for that peaceful meadow that is waiting to hug you with sunshine and fresh air.

 

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