feelings are fleeting
April 24, 2013 by
Categories: Emotions

Yesterday and today I felt a tangible truth: Feelings are fleeting. It could be a day or a season, but sooner or later, what you’re feeling will shift and so will you.

Sounds easy, right? It wasn’t. Yesterday I experienced a melancholy that was difficult to shake off. It seeped into my being unexpectedly and doubts started creeping in. In pockets of the day, I moved through work heavily and was weary. I couldn’t think of a root cause necessarily, but didn’t dwell on it either. I kept going, tried to keep my spirit up, and it wasn’t until I made it home that I started to feel like myself again.

This morning was a different story. I woke up with the sunshine and it flipped a switch in a positive way. As I mull things over, I’m not quite sure if it turned out to be a good day because I chose it to be, or if because I just let it naturally  happen. I was productive, enjoyed my company, and felt genuine joy in my work. It’s not an uncommon feeling, but in contrast to yesterday, I was highly conscious of it.  It felt good. No, it felt great.

This ties in with a piece of wisdom imparted by a good friend: Get out of your head and feel what’s in your heart. It sounds simple, yet it’s a struggle. It’s one I feel daily-  the more I get caught up in analyzing, the further I get from checking in on that gut feeling.  When I think back to yesterday, I know that part of what brought me down was over thinking- what started off as feelings of homesickness (heart feeling), spiraled into larger unfounded worries.

I hope today sticks with me. I hope I don’t miss out on too many moments living in my mind instead of just living. I hope that I can learn to trust my gut without fear. I hope that others will accept me for it, and that if they don’t, I won’t need their acceptance. More than hope, I hope to act. To move. To shine in the shadows and in the light.

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