Reconnection
June 28, 2012 by
Categories: Coping

How do you reconnect with someone that you have lost? I often struggle with that aspect of loss.

When you lose someone to death, they are no longer physically present. You cannot call them to talk about your day nor can you pay them a visit to simply spend time with them. It is always a difficult moment when the reality of what you can no longer do with that person sets in. You are simply left with the memories that you have and the difficult and unobtainable desire to create more memories.

So, how do you reconnect? I reconnect when I feel like I am able to experience both the joy and pain that will result. The joy comes from allowing myself to imagine an experience that I would enjoy with that person. The pain, on the other hand, comes from the realization that this moment of connection is not a physical reality…it is, instead, an emotional experience that I have created for myself inside of my head and my heart.

It is difficult and painful but it is worth it. It is my chance to honor the memory of the person who so heavily influenced the woman that I am today. I am writing this post because I am thinking of allowing myself to reconnect. To reach out to my mom and say hello. To imagine what it would be like to hug her one more time.  To tell her that she is still my biggest source of encouragement. To tell her about my life as it is today, my dreams, and my fears.

 

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