June 14, 2012 by
Categories: Acceptance

Have you ever found yourself in a situation in which you watch someone you care for struggling despite your best efforts to help?

I have found myself in this situation more than I would like. The frustration part kicks in when I: (1) figure out how to help the person who I care for and (2) simultaneously figure out that he/she may not be in a place to hear and receive the help that I so desperately want to offer them.

What do we (therapists/friends/partners/family members) do in these situations? We try pretty much anything to get through to that person even if it may be more on the detrimental side of things than the helpful.

It is difficult but we have to sit back and remind ourselves that, no matter how hard it may be to do so, we are not in that situation. We may be walking with that person through their journey but we are not the decision maker. They possess a unique perspective that one can only possess as a result of  being the person who has to make the decision.

So…for the people who question/become frustrated with situations like these (myself included)…we have to remind ourselves or be reminded of the fact that we will not always be able to help the way that we want to. Our place as therapists/friends/partners/family members is to be there for the struggle and the aftermath of the struggle whenever we have the opportunity.

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